


Comfortember 13: Baking

by FlyinBanachab



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Baking Competition, Cadets, Comedy, Gen, Humor, these two nerds will compete over anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyinBanachab/pseuds/FlyinBanachab
Summary: "On your marks." Roy tied his apron behind his back and glared across the kitchen at Hughes."Get set." The other cadet returned the glare with equal ferocity."Bake!" The ref waved a handkerchief and stepped back into the crowd of spectators.
Relationships: Maes Hughes & Roy Mustang
Kudos: 6
Collections: Comfortember 2020





	Comfortember 13: Baking

"On your marks." Roy tied his apron behind his back and glared across the kitchen at Hughes.  


"Get set." The other cadet returned the glare with equal ferocity.  


" ** _Bake_**!" The ref waved a handkerchief and stepped back into the crowd of spectators.

Roy ripped open the bag of flour, sending a burst of little white motes directly into his face. Coughing and avoiding Hughes' gaze, he grumbled, "This is so stupid."

And it WAS. How had he let Hughes pressure him into this? A _bake-off_. As if a soldier needs to know the first thing about baking. But as soon as Hughes started bragging about his kitchen prowess, it was on. Why couldn't he have just admitted he'd never made cookies before in his life? Why couldn't he just let Hughes have this one?

Because he'd _rather fucking die_ , that's why.

Roy shoved the electric mixer into the bowl and turned it to high, spattering his entire station with butter and sugar. "Agh! Goddammit!"  


He could hear Hughes laughing from across the room. Roy stared furiously into the bowl, gripping the mixer so hard his hands hurt. The audience cheered and booed, clapped and hooted. Of COURSE there was an audience. Of COURSE. They hadn’t asked for it, but cadets can smell potential humiliation. A small crowd had followed them into the kitchen.  


"You're overmixing the dough!" Hughes taunted. "Show it some mercy, someone has to eat those!"

"Shut UP Hughes! It's FINE!" Roy growled, flinging globs of radically dissimilar size onto a baking sheet and shoving it into the oven.

Nine minutes later, it was decidedly not fine. Hughes' cookies, from what he could see from here, looked like cookies. Roy's cookies... he glared down at the traitorous flat bastards. Butter too soft, too much gluten, they're ruined, absolutely ruined, no way to fix--  


Unless. **_UNLESS_**.  


He looked frantically around the kitchen, something to, something to, anything to write with-- aha! Grabbing a bottle of ketchup off a nearby table, he ignored the crowd’s horrified looks and shook a glob onto the counter, spreading itwith his fingers into the world's jankiest transmutation circle. Good enough; he slammed the baking sheet down on top on it. A moment later, blue arcs of energy shot up, engulfing the baked goods. The audience gasped.

The blue light faded away to reveal eighteen perfect cookies on the tray. The audience erupted into noise.  


"H... holy shit," Hughes stuttered, closing the distance between them. He leaned over Roy’s shoulder and gaped at the tray. "Was that ALCHEMY?"

Roy shrugged, mostly suppressing a smile. "Maybe."

Hughes picked up a cookie gingerly, between thumb and index finger, and turned it back and forth in front of his face. "Is... is it safe to eat?"

"Course it is!" Roy snapped. "What do you take me for?"

"Well I didn't take you for an alchemist, that’s for sure.” Hughes raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you gonna try for certification?"

Roy clenched his jaw at that. It still stung. If only he had learned flame alchemy, he might have had a shot, but... "No.”  


Hughes used his one brain cell to decide he shouldn’t press the issue and instead took an experimental bite. "Hey!” He said, surprised. "This is actually decent!"

"It's excellent, even," said one of the judges, breaking from what looked to be a rather nervous huddle. "Unfortunately-- we're pretty sure the use of alchemy is a disqualifier."

"WHAT!" Roy shook the tray accusingly at the judge. "You said make cookies, I made cookies!"

Hughes broke out in a shit-eating grin. "Nooo... we said _bake_ cookies!" He clapped Roy on the shoulder. "Nice try though, really. Maybe next time we can have an alchemy-off and you can get even." And he walked away laughing.

Roy plucked a cookie off the tray and bit down hard enough to take off a finger.


End file.
